Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
