Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize