Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
