If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
