Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Randomize
