Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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