mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
