when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Randomize
