garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
