Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
