I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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