To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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