I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize