Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
