You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The uberlube is also flammable
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
