Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
