you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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