It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize