thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
