My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
