I'm jealous of your bromance
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
