are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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