I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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