I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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