The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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