There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
