I will die if light touches me.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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