therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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