used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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