In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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