my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
