So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
