barbara walters just said penis...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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