I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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