I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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