i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
