Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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