Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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