You made me cry and you don't even care
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
