So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
