just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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