he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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