he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
