all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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