I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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