I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
