I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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