It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
You ate ashes out of my bong
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
