Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
