i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
