My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
