Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
