I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Randomize
