and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
