C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
