me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
