I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
