whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize