Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
as a side note pls kill me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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