your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
